In addition to the great beaches and surf, walks and history Cornwall, England has no end of tempting treats, but if you’re not careful it’s possible to exceed your daily limits in every diet measurable by ten-fold. Now, I haven’t done this (I swear!), but here’s how to have the unhealthiest day of your life while relaxing under the Cornish Sun …or cloud:
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Wake up and head straight to the breakfast table. Do not volunteer to lead a pre-breakfast trek to the beach for a morning surf, and instead grab your spoon and get ready to dig. First up is a bowl of TESCO’s Honey Nut cereal accompanied by a hearty scoop of clotted cream – that’s right straight fat tinted to a creamy yellow plopped into your cereal bowl.
Wake up and head straight to the breakfast table. Do not volunteer to lead a pre-breakfast trek to the beach for a morning surf, and instead grab your spoon and get ready to dig. First up is a bowl of TESCO’s Honey Nut cereal accompanied by a hearty scoop of clotted cream – that’s right straight fat tinted to a creamy yellow plopped into your cereal bowl.
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With breakfast 1 done it’s time to head to town (St. Merryn) to pick up lunch and some newspapers for the beach. This is also where second breakfast happens because it’s almost impossible to enter a baker’s den in this county without being tempted by their chocolate-injected croissants.
With breakfast 1 done it’s time to head to town (St. Merryn) to pick up lunch and some newspapers for the beach. This is also where second breakfast happens because it’s almost impossible to enter a baker’s den in this county without being tempted by their chocolate-injected croissants.
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You’ve entered the baker’s shop because that is where you get the most famous of Cornish delights – the famous Pasty. A Cornish Pasty is simply a pastry shell wrapped around steak, potato, carrot and onion chunks. You eat it with your hands, which makes it great for the beach. It feels like a brick in your tummy, which makes it terrible if swimming is on the agenda. Originally, Cornish tin miners ate these down in the shaft, the thick pastry crust served as a disposable handle for grubby fingers. Today we eat it all, grubby fingers or not!
You’ve entered the baker’s shop because that is where you get the most famous of Cornish delights – the famous Pasty. A Cornish Pasty is simply a pastry shell wrapped around steak, potato, carrot and onion chunks. You eat it with your hands, which makes it great for the beach. It feels like a brick in your tummy, which makes it terrible if swimming is on the agenda. Originally, Cornish tin miners ate these down in the shaft, the thick pastry crust served as a disposable handle for grubby fingers. Today we eat it all, grubby fingers or not!
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Weather permitting, you’ve been in the sea all afternoon and you’re ready for ‘tea-time’. You could go the tea and biscuit route, but you’re on holiday and have been tempted by any one of the following three options: cream tea (more cream, this time on a scone), strawberry jam filled doughnut (at this point the baker is just rolling in dough), or – dare I say and? – a 99er (ice-cream cone with a chocolate flake in it).
Weather permitting, you’ve been in the sea all afternoon and you’re ready for ‘tea-time’. You could go the tea and biscuit route, but you’re on holiday and have been tempted by any one of the following three options: cream tea (more cream, this time on a scone), strawberry jam filled doughnut (at this point the baker is just rolling in dough), or – dare I say and? – a 99er (ice-cream cone with a chocolate flake in it).
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If you’ve made it this far, you might as well finish the journey, but brace yourself, the worst is yet to come. Fryer Tuck’s Fish and Chips has a line-up out the door and around the corner, and you are destine for that queueueueue. Select the take-away option and return home to the cheers of hungry companions. Settle into battered cod, thick British chips, and if you’re wise, a cup of the curry sauce for your dipping pleasure. Wash it all down with a pint of some locally brewed ale, call it the day, and roll all the way to bed.
If you’ve made it this far, you might as well finish the journey, but brace yourself, the worst is yet to come. Fryer Tuck’s Fish and Chips has a line-up out the door and around the corner, and you are destine for that queueueueue. Select the take-away option and return home to the cheers of hungry companions. Settle into battered cod, thick British chips, and if you’re wise, a cup of the curry sauce for your dipping pleasure. Wash it all down with a pint of some locally brewed ale, call it the day, and roll all the way to bed.
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